Hello Friends, Fans, & Comedy Enthusiasts,Welcome to my website and blog. I am a stand up Comedian out of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I’ve been doing stand since 2006, and have opened for comics such as Bill Burr, Jim Breuer, Billy Gardell, Pauley Shore, John Lovitz and many more.
So what’s the point of this website?
This website is like a painting in that it can mean several things to several people. For one person, it can be a place to read funny things throughout the work week. For others, it can be a modern take on apartheid through the use of broad, chaotic brush strokes. But that second person is usually incorrect.
I’ve also been told that when designing a website, you need to define your Target Audience.
1. People who think that Twitter is really stupid but only created an account because everyone else has one.
2. People who think the world will end in their lifetime.
3. Americans who have been to another country and think that other Americans who say “Americans are so ignorant,” should be ridiculed openly.
4. People who liked Family Guy at first but ever since that South Park episode came out saying what’s wrong with it, can’t stand it.
5. People who read Scientific American but can never remember anything from it.
6. People who think the generations below them are punks.
7. People who don’t “get” math and are not OK with it.
8. People who have a favorite US President. And can back up their arguments.
9. People who would like to wear a fedora hat but are afraid to because their friends would make fun of them.
10. People who think that Elephants, Horses, and Dolphins know more than we give them credit for.
11. People who want to change our Grammar Structure to closer resemble German. We should capitalize all Nouns.
12. People who want to take a blacksmithing course, just in case they might need it.
13. People who actually like shopping at Office Max.
14. People who know that Comcast has an unbreakable monopoly on all areas of human communication.
15. People who are content with their day job and feel guilty about it.
16. People who understand what “Icing” is when referring to hockey.
17. People who legitimately think that Star Wars has the best plot line in literary history.
18. People who want to be good at golf but don’t want to put the work into it.
19. People who think that every person should write and record a song before they die.
I guess after you get through all 19 of the previous criteria the last one is pretty easy:
20. People who are me.
Please check out some of my friends and check out their stuff as well. See you at the next show!