New Encyclopedia Entries – 2/22/17


Overalls – Strapped denim garment worn exclusively by toddlers, old farmers and girls who are down wit’ it.

Cranberry – Parasitic shrub-berry which attaches itself to any and all other known fruits in order to propagate its species.  After the Cranberry identifies a successful fruit (Apple, Grape, etc) it will launch a threaded dart from its stem.  This dart penetrates the skin of the more successful fruit and secretes a numbing neurotoxin which allows the process to go on without the host fruit even being aware.  Soon enough, you go to the store and it’s like Cranberry-Everything.

Cello – Oversized stringed instrument played exclusively by musicians who like getting pushed into lockers in high-school.

Internet – Global system of incorporated computer networks that was officially deemed boring on January 19th, 2017.  Despite housing nearly 200o petabytes of information, the internet ran out of stuff to look at this past Winter.  Internet users said they looked at Facebook, twitter, then reddit for a bit, then back to twitter for some reason then decided the internet was over.

Cultural Appropriation – The practice of an individual adopting and enjoying another race’s culture, thus allowing it to shape and influence them.  Widely considered to be a bad thing for some reason.



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