Total Jokes 2/19

Car-maker Lamborghini is recalling it’s ultra high-end Veneno model, citing engine issues.  Lamborghini has assured affected customers that they will have access to their local dealership’s Ford Focus loaner.

The board game Monopoly has removed the beloved Thimble game piece to make room for a new piece which will be selected by tallying comments on the game’s website.  Early reports are showing the “Asshat” piece in the lead with the “Liberal Scum” piece right behind.

A book was returned to a Pennsylvania library 75 years past due, with a late fee that would have been $554.  The person responsible said the book wasn’t late; it was just A Wrinkle in Time.

Columbia University had to retract 270 incorrect acceptance emails it mistakenly sent to prospective students.  With annual out of state tuitions of $51,000 per year, the parents of these students are calling it “the best day ever!”

At a hospital in Spain, a 64 year old woman gave birth to twins after receiving IVF treatment.  The babies are already referring to the old woman as “the Spanish Ar-mama.”


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