World’s First: Guy Who Invented the Little Hole at the Bottom of a Piggy Bank

piggy

The Piggy bank is an ancient artifact that has followed man since the second century B.C.  Typically money is stored in these banks with no way of escaping unless the owner smashes the porcelain porker.  This changed when a craftsman, Mitya, a man who loved his piggy bank very much, decided to forgo the destructive route and instead used innovation and compassion.    We join a raucous trial within the Piggy-bank Craftsman’s guild in 1642.

Head Viceroy: Order!  See here! Order!

Guild Member 1: He should be excommunicated from this guild forevermore.

Guild Member 2: I say we boil the tar and douse this scoundrel!

Mitya: My dear brothers this is madness!  What have I done to draw your ire so?

Guild Member 2: You threaten our very livelihood with your design.

Guild Member 1: You stand to bring the guild to its knees.

Mitya: All I have done was added a hole with a little plug at the bottom of my piggy banks.  People love the new design.  Now they on’t have to smash their piggy banks to get the money out.

Guild Member 1: Sacrilige!

Head Viceroy: Surely you can understand how a radical innovation could cause an implosion that would threaten our industry.  You have turned what was once a commodity that people would need to purchase several times during their life, into a life-long companion to be used and reused.

Guild Member 1: I’ve seen my sales decline four-fold since you added a little hole to get money out at the bottom!

Mitya: My brothers, could you not see that a step needed to be made?  That when people needed their money out of the piggy bank, they weren’t breaking it?  That they were simply turning it over and shaking it repeatedly until a few coins fell out.  And God save you if there was a silver dollar in there.  The hole and the cork plug…

Guild Member 2:  Don’t even get me started on the cork plug!

Mitya: These were necessary.  I got into the piggy bank industry because I wanted to help people save money.  And I believe with my new invention, I am serving that purpose doubly.

Head Viceroy: Your words ring true young Mitya.  And your bright mind and solid resolve are things to be admired.

Guild Member 1: How do you rule then?

Head Viceroy: Mitya, I think you have your philosophies confused.  The Piggy Bank is not about saving money.  It’s about protecting your money from others.  You, in your youthful exuberance, have jeopardized with other people’s money.  We are the other people.  And for that, I rule you shall receive death by hammer smashing.

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