Total Jokes 11/22

Ginza Tanaka's Gold Christmas Tree with Disney Motif

  • A Tokyo retailer has unveiled a two million dollar Christmas Tree made of solid gold.  If that doesn’t get you in the Christmas spirit, you can take comfort in knowing that the gold was pulled right from the dental fillings of frostbitten Japanese homeless people.
  • President-Elect Donald Trump has decided to settle his Trump University lawsuit in which he allegedly defrauded students.  Trump is working on a new book about the episode called The Art of the Steal. 
  • Apple has hinted that its latest invention will be a type of foldable phone.  The phone has a built in time machine that will transport users back to a time where it was acceptable to own flip-phone.
  • Apple will also be coming out with a new wearable device that will notify owners when someone is trying to call them in real time.  The new device will be called The iPager.
  • Starbucks has raised the price of their average drink by thirty cents.  That means the average price of a small drink at Starbucks is $62.30.