Lewis and Clark on the Missouri River


Captain Clark:  The wind is at our backs today Captain Lewis.  It should allow us to cover more ground than expected.  We’ll arrive at the French trading post in the Dakota Territory a few days from now.  Just before the Winter season descends.

Captain Lewis: Hmm.

Captain Clark: What is it?

Captain Lewis:  Whew.  You’re gonna want to kill me.

Captain Clark:  Why?

Captain Lewis:  I’m such an idiot.  Really, I don’t even know how I function.

Captain Clark: Out with it man!  What is troubling you?

Captain Lewis: I cannot for the life of me find my wallet.

Captain Clark: Your wallet?

Captain Lewis: Yeah.  We’ve got to turn around and go look for it.

Captain Clark: Are you mad?  We can’t backtrack now.  We’re low on supplies and the frost is coming.

Captain Lewis: I understand.  Believe me, I’m not thrilled about it.  But I mean, all of my stuff was in there.  Like, everything.

Captain Clark: Where do you think it is?

Captain Lewis: I don’t know.  Maybe like St. Louis.

Captain Clark: We’re not turning around.

Captain Lewis: Well, I technically outrank you.  So, yeah we are.  Men!   Turn around.  We’re going to St. Louis.

——– 2 months later ———–

Captain Clark: We’re finally within sight of St. Louis.  You can look for your wallet now.

Captain Lewis: Whew.  You’re gonna want to kill me.

Captain Clark: In your pocket the whole time?

Captain Lewis: Yep.

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