Paperclip – Like a staple except without all that commitment.
Cheese – A food product derived from milk that, if given the option, must be placed on a hamburger. If cheese is refused and instead the hamburger is order “just plain,” the person in question is allowed to be committed to a sanitarium without power of attorney being legally relinquished or transferred.
Toothpick – Another thing you could poke your damn eye out with.
Documentary – a nonfictional motion picture intended to capture and report on some specific soul-crushing reality of human existence. Documentaries can focus on any number of esoteric horrors including child soldiers in Sudan, the underground economy of sex-trade workers, the development of schizophrenia in a 4 year old or the brutalization of sea mammals in animal parks. The primary purposes of a documentary is to expose a topic, maintain a historical record, or send you off to bed not wanting to wake up in the morning.
Stanford Prison Experiment – Famous psychological case study which found that people who go to Stanford are really, really messed up.