New Encyclopedia Entries: 7/15

Paperclip – Like a staple except without all that commitment.


Cheese – A food product derived from milk that, if given the option, must be placed on a hamburger.  If cheese is refused and instead the hamburger is order “just plain,” the person in question is allowed to be committed to a sanitarium without power of attorney being legally relinquished or transferred.

Toothpick – Another thing you could poke your damn eye out with.

Documentary – a nonfictional motion picture intended to capture and report on some specific soul-crushing reality of human existence.  Documentaries can focus on any number of esoteric horrors including child soldiers in Sudan, the underground economy of sex-trade workers, the development of schizophrenia in a 4 year old or the brutalization of sea mammals in animal parks.  The primary purposes of a documentary is to expose a topic, maintain a historical record, or send you off to bed not wanting to wake up in the morning.

Stanford Prison Experiment – Famous psychological case study which found that people who go to Stanford are really, really messed up.



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