COURAGEOUS: These Really Dumb People Are Redefining Society’s Definition of Intelligence

For years, Academia has shunned people of low intelligence but now several incredibly brave morons are re-defining the antiquated notion of “smart.”  Mental marginalization is a serious problem in society and these dipsticks have had enough.

“To say that scoring high on aptitude tests or writing good or remembering your own middle name are the only ways to be considered smart is not realistic and hurts our society as a whole,” said Trevor Holliday, an absolute idiot who will be obtaining his Doctorate from Gudger State University Online.

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“Dunces and nimrods are under-represented in Academia,” Holliday said before tripping over his own untied shoe and falling butt-first into a waste basket.  

Historically, the college (and even primary school) systems rewarded those with high intelligence and initiative levels.  This left out many cement-headed goons who do not share the same definition of intelligence with teachers and administrators.

“There were times in high school where I was shamed for who I was,” said Jermaine Johnson, who one time accidentally lit his pants on fire with a Bunsen burner in chemistry class.  “I just said to myself, ‘I’m not going to let society or grades or the fact that I get gum stuck in my hair a lot dictate my own self image.'”

One half-witted nincompoop, Heather Jacobsen, said that seeing other students doing well on tests and  remembering historical dates led her to develop a serious reading disorder when she was in high school, sometimes reading two books per week.  The school actively reinforced this horrible disease, all in the name of achieving “normal intelligence.”

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Jacobsen: “I read The Brothers Karamazov one summer and realized I didn’t like the person I’d become.”

“Society reveres figures with unattainable standards of intelligence like Albert Einstein, Emily Dickinson, and Steve Jobs,” said Kyle Patterson, who scored 600 on his SAT test.  That’s right, 600.  “Maybe someday people will think of me when they picture someone smart.”

These brave souls are hoping to inspire the next generation of drooling imbeciles to just be who they are and not accept criticism from anybody for anything ever.

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