Total Jokes: 12/1/15

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  • Philadelphia 76’ers center Jahlil Okafor was reportedly caught attempting to use a fake ID at a bar.  Bouncers were tipped off when they realized that there aren’t that many 7 foot, 300 pound men named Trevor Goldblatt.
  • Okafor has had many off-the-court issues so the 76’ers have decided to hire a security guard to forcefully tell the giant man what he can and can’t do when out in public.  They have also decided to hire a bodyguard for the bodyguard.  
  • The Salvation Army received a surprise donation of $500,000 dollars this weekend.  Reports say that that Salvation Army marched into their boss’s office on Monday, told them to suck it and went out and bought a Harley.
  • An anonymous donor dropped $500,000 in a Salvation Army bucket in Minneapolis this past weekend.  That news headline again: the Salvation Army doesn’t need any more of your money.
  • Speaker of the House Paul Ryan will announce President Obama’s annual State of the Union address in January.  The staunch Republican has vowed that he will do everything in his power to make sure this is Obama’s last State of the Union address.

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