Crispus Attuks – First person killed during the Boston Massacre and not, as his name would suggest, one of the bounty hunters commissioned by Darth Vader to capture the Millennium Falcon. Attucks was a seaman and dockworker in Massachusetts, even though with that name he could easily be piloting a Mandalorian slave ship in pursuit of famed intergalactic smuggler, Han Solo. An icon of the Revolutionary War, Attuks is held up by historians as a martyr although, for my money, he really could have made a nice career collecting Wookie scalps for Jabba the Hutt.
Pomeranian Voivodeship – A province in northern Poland where Albert Patterson of Albany, NY is hiding from his responsibilities. We know you’re there Albert. Just come home.
Death of Marat – A painting by Jacques-Louis David which shows the French Revolutionary Jean-Paul Marat dead in a bathtub with a bunch of sheets and towels and blankets, which must have been normal back then? The depiction is a subtle insight into the fragility of powerful figures and into the apparent French custom of taking dry linens into the bathtub with them. Plus, he has a towel wrapped around his head which would lead one to assume that most French people did that as well, I guess?
Absolute Zero – Refers to either a theoretical temperature present at the lower limit of thermodynamic physics or your ex-husband.
Jägermeister – Yeah, get me two…wait no…Bridget! Bridget! BRIDGET! Do you want a shot? Jaeger. Ok, three shots. How much is that? Huh? How much? Fifteen. Yeah, put it on the card. It’s under uh…Bridget! BRIDGET! What’s your brother-in-law’s last name? Ok. Put it on Campbell.