Young Sigmund Freud’s Thesis Review

A 17-year old Sigmund Freud is a student at Vienna University.  Many of his theories are in their early stages of development.  Here we find a young Freud pitching ideas to his psychology professor, Dr. Claus.

Freud: Hey Doctor Claus, thanks so much for meeting with me.

Dr. Claus: That’s what office hours are for.  What can I do for you?

Freud: Well I’m kicking around a few ideas that I think are pretty ground breaking and they might revolutionize the way we think about psychology.

Dr. Claus:  Ok, let’s hear them.

Freud: The first one I call psychotherapy.  You know how it feels good to talk about your problems?

Dr. Claus: You know, you’re right.  It does feel pretty good.  Like a weight has been lifted off of your chest or something.

Freud: Well, I think you can really alleviate a lot of stress by talking about that stuff with someone who is sworn to secrecy.  Like a medical professional.

Dr. Claus: I like it!  What else do you have?

Freud: I have this other thing about dreams and how they’re tied into your unconscious mind.

Dr. Claus: Hmm.  Explain.

Freud: Dreams are weird right?  I think that it’s just our brains trying to fulfill our wishes.  Even if they are bad dreams it’s still speaking to some latent knowledge or hope.

Dr. Claus:  That’s really interesting.  This is great stuff so far, Sigmund.  Anything else?

Freud: Yeah, one more.  You know how every single person wants to make love to their own mother?  Well I have this theory about–

Dr. Claus: Whoa.  Wait, wait, wait.  What?

Freud: I’m sorry was I going to fast?

Dr. Claus: No.  I just thought I heard you say that everyone wants to make love to their own mothers.

Freud: Yes.  That’s what I said.

Dr. Claus: Maybe I’m not understanding you correctly.

Freud: Ok, so you know how everyone feels anxious and depressed and has general neuroses and whatnot?

Dr. Claus: Yes…

Freud: And you know how everyone is sexually attracted to their own mother?  Can’t be a coincidence!  Am I right?

Dr. Claus: Yeah, this is where you’re losing me.

Freud: OK.  So you have a mom right?

Dr. Claus:  Yes.

Freud: And of course, you are interested in doing her, right?

Dr. Claus: Um…no.

Freud: See, that’s just repression.

Dr. Claus: No.  I’m just not attracted to my 85 year old mother.

Freud: Yeah dude, you are.  It’s just a fact.

Dr. Claus: How is that a fact?

Freud: Because it’s just like…how can you not be?

Dr. Claus: This is pretty disturbing.  You might need to take a break from college.  I think I’m going to need to call your parents.

Freud: Ooh.  Ok.  Can I talk to my mom?

Dr. Claus: No, you freak!  I’m not sure you’re right for Vienna College after all.  I’m going to speak to your father about this.  Do you know if he’s around?

Freud: He won’t be for long, if I have my way…

Dr. Claus: Ok.  Please get out of my office.

Freud: Wait, wait.  I haven’t told you about my theory of Infantile Sexuality…

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