Las Vegas, NV – Calling it a “pretty regular occurrence,” the kitchen staff at Fammia’s Trattoria and Bar barely reacted to a handsome, square-jawed man sprinting through their food prep area on Thursday night. The tuxedo’d man was followed by two large, confused lummoxes openly brandishing handguns.
“They actually said during the interview that I’d have to deal with this type of thing two to three times per week,” said sous chef Marcia Rodriguez-Piccato. “The HR guy literally asked me if I’d have a problem being run into at full speed by dashing, lightly-stubbled men several times per pay period.”
The high-octane chases have become so commonplace that head chef Raymond Bellgioni has been buying extra goods in order to account for all of the pans, baking sheets and serving trays lost in the chases. “I usually forecast that we’ll lose at least six pans of bread crumbs in a given month when a debonair, hunk of man-candy bowls over a sauté cook in the course of evading gun-wielding henchman.”
Bellgioni went on to recall his first week in a Las Vegas kitchen when he sprained his ankle after a striking, symmetrically-faced man in a three piece Armani suit knocked over a rack of clean dishes while attempting to trip up two ugly thugs. “I remember getting mad at first, but then it happened again two days later and finally it became so routine I began to not even notice it.”
In an attempt to help out younger culinary students looking to make a career in a high-end restaurant attached to a casino, Bellgioni listed some tips for those just starting out. “Remember, if you hear a loud commotion and people saying, ‘Hey! Get back here!’ just move away from any hot surfaces like grills or deep-fryers. A full-speed shoulder check into a pile of potatoes isn’t nearly as bad as being knocked onto a stove.”