We join the editorial staff at Buzzfeed for their daily pitch meeting. John O’Donnell is the editor-in-chief of the online publication and he wants to hear only the best ideas his staff has to offer.
JOHN: OK guys yesterday was awesome! The site saw over 130 million unique visitors. Let’s keep that momentum going. I need a few more home runs today so let’s hear what you have.
STAFFER 1: “26 Ways Your Cereal is Lying to You?”
JOHN: Yes! Run with it.
STAFFER 2: “13 Times Jafar from Aladdin was Actually a Good Guy?”
JOHN: Definitely. Green lit.
STAFFER 3: I have a picture of a dog.
JOHN: Is the dog doing something?
STAFFER 3: Not really.
STAFFER 2: How about: “6 Times Your Dog Has Had Enough?”
JOHN: Killing it! Yes. Go. What else?
STAFFER 4: “You’ve Been Opening Your Mail Wrong for Always.” It’d just be a guy opening mail efficiently.
JOHN: Damn it. I want to read that right now! Schedule the post!
STAFFER 3: I wanted to do something with the color red. Like just a post about how red is a great color.
STAFFER 2: What about “7 ways the Color Red is Totally Dope?”
JOHN: Yes! I love it…wait. Are there actually seven ways?
STAFFER 2: I’m sure we can figure out 7 ways.
JOHN: I swear to God if you keep that up, I’m going to promote you right in front of everyone. Yes. That’s the way to go. We need something with emotion now. Humanize us!
STAFFER 1: I have a video of a cat being hit by a car and then a crow comes over and pecks at the carcass.
JOHN: What’s the angle though?
STAFFER 1: Well we would just say in the headline that the crow and the cat are friends or something then play Vitamin C’s “Graduation Song” in the background.
STAFFER 2: “Unlikely Friends: When I Saw How This Crow Reacts to His Friend Getting Run Over, It Broke Me.”
JOHN: Un-be-god-damn-lievable! Yes. Do it. Ok. Those should get us to about 9:00 AM. What does everyone have for 10:00?