Total Jokes: 6/7

  • The owner of Triple Crown winner American Pharaoh, Bob Baffert, was seen in his box seats with several celebrities including the King from Burger King.  Baffert believes the horse is a good source of income.  The Burger King believes the horse is a good source of Whopper meat.
  • Baffert has already sold the breeding rights to American Pharaoh.  Meanwhile, my breeding rights are still listed on Craigslist if anyone is interested.
  • When asked what he’d do now that horse racing’s busy season is over, American Pharaoh’s 5’2” jockey Victor Espinoza said he will return to his old job where he will continue to make delicious cookies in an enchanted tree.

  • At a tournament in Phoenix, golfer Tiger Woods shot the worst game of his professional career, posting a score of 85 or 13 over par.  In a related story, my father-in-law now has an endorsement deal with Nike.
  • In a new survey, 78% of Generation X’ers are not saving enough for retirement.  So financially speaking, their in a bit of a Pearl Jam.
  • The Parks Department in Seattle is attempting to curb gang violence by installing ping pong tables in local trouble spots.  If the plan works the parks department will expand their plan by placing Foosball tables in crack dens.
  • A Florida man was arrested after he jumped onto a police car and danced on it. Police were actually able to teach the man a new dance move called the Billy Club Boogie.

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