Total Jokes: 5/15/15

  • Two employees at a funeral home stopped at a Dunkin’ Donuts before delivering a veteran’s body to his funeral.  Sources say that the employees typically take their coffee with creamation.
  • Actress Cate Blanchett told reporters that over the years she has had many female lovers.  “Me too. Guys…I have too.  Guys!  Hello?  Why is no one listening to me?“ said Tom Cruise.
  • An Oklahoma Man has plead guilty to first degree manslaughter after giving an atomic wedgie that asphyxiated and killed his step-father.  The man is also wanted in connection with several Purple Nurple related assaults.
  • A 19-year-old was elected as Mayor in Indian Head, Maryland.  First official order of business: reducing the drinking age to 19.
  • Olympic Sprinter Tyson Gay has been stripped of his silver medal after testing positive for PED’s.  Officials knew something was up shortly after Gay placed 3rd in the Kentucky Derby.

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