Total Jokes: 5/12/2015

  • For their role in “Deflate-gate”, the New England Patriots have been fined $1 million dollars or as owner Robert Kraft calls it, “My Dry Cleaning Bill.”
  • Telecom giant Verizon said Tuesday it will acquire AOL in a deal valued at approximately $4.4 billion.  The deal will include the transfer of AOL’s real estate, physical plants and over 20 billion Free Trial CD-Roms.
  • Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush recently said that given what we know now, he still would have invaded Iraq in 2001.  Citizens of United States recently said that given what they know now, they would never vote for Jeb Bush.
  • Police in Mt. Morris, New York apprehended a burglar on Sunday by following a trail of macaroni salad he left behind while making his getaway.  That story again: Yogi Bear is finally behind bars.
  • A new religious poll shows a steep increase in the number of Americans identifying as agnostics.  When asked about the cause of the trend, researchers said that it was probably caused by something but they weren’t 100% sure.

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