Total Jokes: 5/11/15

I write topical jokes that don’t have a very long shelf life.  Now they can live on in perpetuity.  

  • After 16 years, American Idol will finally be going off the air.  Keith Urban will head back out on tour, Jennifer Lopez will take time with her children and Harry Connick Jr. will sweep up the studio.
  • Domino’s Pizza introduced a new app that lets customers track their delivery driver ensuring that their pizza arrives hot.  Not to be outdone, Papa John’s will be introducing an app that lets customers track hot delivery drivers.
  • A mom is in jail after trying to sell her 10-month-old daughter to her cousin.  The sale would have gone through if the cousin had a better credit score.
  • At the South Carolina Freedom Summit, Former senator Rick Santorum told an audience that the US should “bomb ISIL back into the 7th century.”  While in the 7th century, ISIL can obtain a better understanding of Santorum’s views on gay people.
  • Snoop Dogg told the New York Post that he’s a fan of the HBO show, “Game of Thrones” because he likes brushing up on history.  Snoop also told the Post that he’s a fan of Doctor OZ because he likes brushing up on medicine.

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