Jack Welch’s Top Ten Surefire Savings Tips

John Francis “Jack” Welch, Jr. is a retired American business executive, author and chemical engineer. He was chairman and CEO of General Electric between 1981 and 2001. During his tenure at GE, the company’s value rose 4,000%.  The man knows money.  Here are some of the money moguls tips for us ordinary folk.  Enjoy!

1) When you’re buying your third Maserati, make sure to take advantage of the dealership’s “buy two, get one 15% off” deal. The money is put there by Maserati in order to incentivize you to make the purchase. Don’t leave free cash on the table! 15% may not seem like a lot, but the $50,000 you’ll save could be put towards a larger down payment.

2) Stop buying your daily coffee franchise!  If you simply went one week without incorporating a Crazy Mocha location into your already vast portfolio, the savings would add up quick. Plus it’s not that hard to make your own coffee company. Just get up a little earlier!

3) How many pairs of imported $1,200 Italian leather shoes do you need? Take stock of all your fine, hand-crafted clothing and footwear and have a garage sale. Make sure to hold it at the garage attached to your Indiana farm-compound and not your actual residence.

4) Ditch expensive family members. Wives grow old. Children frequently disappoint (who wants to work with animals anyway?). Why are they staying on your payroll?  Axe the dead weight so you can live the life you want.

5) Take a more efficient route to work. London-Heathrow is one of the most heavily trafficked (and expensive) international airports to fly your G6 out of. Look into housing your fleet at El Alto Intn’l Airport in Bolivia.  An oppressed workforce means smaller baggage handling fees and low rent.

6) Eat your leftovers.  Americans are more wasteful than any other nation in the world. Pop that Beluga caviar in the microwave and re-heat (use setting #2). Take your shaved truffles and throw them in some mac & cheese for a great treat.

7) Invest in a deep freezer. Many of today’s cryogenics laboratories charge outrageous rates to freeze all or part of your body to be used in the future.  Appliance manufactures have really stepped their game up and offer several of the same great features and benefits that high-end cryo-labs offer.  Check out the Maytag CX-360.

8) Give up expensive habits like drinking, smoking and consolidating under-performing manufacturing plants in the Ukraine.

9) Write a list before you go shopping. Studies show that when you are power hungry, you tend to come back from shopping trips with things you don’t need. Remember when you bought that golf course in Ireland?  Did you originally set out intending to purchase that?

10) Cut your own hair. You’re a balding, old miser and no one finds you physically attractive anyway.

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