Report: Satisfying Series Finale of “Mad Men” to Feature All Characters Being Beaten to Death By Biker Gang

Los Angeles, CA – AMC is frantically trying to suppress a leaked copy of the approved script to the series finale of Mad Men in which all six of the unlikeable, self-centered, unredeemable main characters are brutally beaten to death by a California biker gang.   It appears that head writer Matthew Weiner will give fans what they want: to see the characters who have absolutely wasted their time over the course of several years with no growth or tangible story arc get into a tussle with the Gypsy Motorcycle club and have their asses absolutely handed to them on a platter.

The leaked script has the advertising agents becoming embroiled in a bitter turf war which culminates in a 42 minute fight sequence at a San Francisco honky tonk.  Pete Campbell is shown having a pool cue broken over his head , Joan Harris is repeatedly whipped with a heavy chain, and Don Draper is stuck in the kidney with a stiletto.

Fan reaction to the script has been mixed, with a minority of people looking for a more traditional ending and most others thinking that useless, vapid, wastes of humanity got off too easy.

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