New Encyclopedia Entries

I absolutely love The Onion’s Book of Known Knowledge.  It is without a doubt, the funniest collection of writing I own (and I own Rey Mysterio Jr.’s Biography).  Someone once said: “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”  Mel Brooks once said: “You have to know where to steal things from.”  It is with that spirit that I steal their idea and use it for my own gain.  These are New Encyclopedia Entries:

Adams, Ansel – an American photographer and color film enthusiast who routinely captured beautiful landscapes at the height of their depressing greyness.

Carpet – Floor or stair covering usually made from thick woven fabric that can’t possibly cost that much as you guys have it listed at right now.  Carpet consists of an upper layer called a pile and a backing layer made of nylon or polyester which has to be cheaper than $26 per square foot.  It just has to.  Carpets are typically produced using a loom which is great but unless you knock 25% off right now, I’m going to Lowe’s.

Trees – A perennial plant with several thousand different sub-species even though, when you think about it, they all pretty much look the same.   Some types of tree include coniferscycadsginkgophytes and gnetales, which all have a trunk and roots and are green sometimes so what’s the big deal anyway?

 

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