8 Great Ways to Lose Weight Fast

1) Find your nearest tapeworm distributor and buy a two-pack.

2) Stand on a scale holding several hundred balloons.

3) Jeremy broke up with you 6 years ago.  Let it go already.

4) Blood accounts for 70% of a human’s total mass…if you catch my drift.

5) Coke.

6) Replace your normal, sugary, carbohydrate-loaded breakfast with confused, frantic panting.

7) Take a heaping scoop of Metamucil with every meal so that you can pass that barbell you accidentally ate.

8) Your pants.  You won’t be needing them any longer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s