I’ve got a lot of questions I’d just like to ask them now:
- Why is it that when I see someone wearing the same t-shirt as me I get embarrassed? Why do I feel that way? Guess what, GAP’s Fall line only has so many items. There’s going to be some overlap.
- Why would anyone order their eggs over-easy? That’s a disgusting way to go about life.
- Why are we trying to save the tigers? If the shoe was on the other foot, I don’t think tigers would really be that concerned.
- When someone says have a good one, what is “one?” If it means “day”, then that’s nice. if it means “life”, then it comes off sarcastic.
- Why do gas station attendants put a little, tiny, barely-visible baggie over a pump that isn’t working? They must like seeing people pull up, get out of their car, and become immediately disappointed.
- When I see a car abandoned on the side of the road, there is always a little plastic bag hanging from the window. What is that? Do cops make you do that? What if you didn’t just go grocery shopping?
- Why do State Troopers wear hats with chin straps that only go around the bottom of their lips? Can’t we get longer chin-straps for Pete’s Sake?
- Who is Pete? Is it St. Peter? If that’s the case, then it seems pretty casual way to refer to the guy who’s going to let you into heaven.
- When you get to Heaven, are you allowed to sin? I spent all this time on Earth being a good person, so I think I deserve to do a bit of shoplifting.