I’ve got a lot of questions I’d just like to ask them now:

  • Why is it that when I see someone wearing the same t-shirt as me I get embarrassed?  Why do I feel that way?  Guess what, GAP’s Fall line only has so many items.  There’s going to be some overlap.
  • Why would anyone order their eggs over-easy?  That’s a disgusting way to go about life.
  • Why are we trying to save the tigers?  If the shoe was on the other foot, I don’t think tigers would really be that concerned.
  • When someone says have a good one, what is “one?”  If it means “day”, then that’s nice.  if it means “life”, then it comes off sarcastic.
  • Why do gas station attendants put a little, tiny, barely-visible baggie over a pump that isn’t working?  They must like seeing people pull up, get out of their car, and become immediately disappointed.
  • When I see a car abandoned on the side of the road, there is always a little plastic bag hanging from the window.  What is that?  Do cops make you do that?  What if you didn’t just go grocery shopping?
  • Why do State Troopers wear hats with chin straps that only go around the bottom of their lips?  Can’t we get longer chin-straps for Pete’s Sake?
  • Who is Pete?  Is it St. Peter?  If that’s the case, then it seems pretty casual way to refer to the guy who’s going to let you into heaven.
  • When you get to Heaven, are you allowed to sin?  I spent all this time on Earth being a good person, so I think I deserve to do a bit of shoplifting.

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