1) Drink water right side up in an upside down airplane as it plunges from the sky.
2) Startle yourself be convincing yourself that you’ve contracted a staph infection.
3) At the top of your house’s largest staircase, grab both ankles and fall forward onto the cat.
4) Eat something red (Chicago Bulls hat, Chinese Flag, Omega Red action figure, etc).
5) While standing on one foot, try to remove your shoe with your newfound telekinesis.
6) Achieve Nirvana.
7) Hold your breath until you black out. Repeat until you can’t remember your spouse’s name.
8) Using an office chair, smash the plate-glass window at your nearest bank.
9) I’m not saying you should drink kerosene, but it did work for my one friend Kurt.
10) Find the neighborhood dog and tell him off. Tell him right off!