(New York, NY) – After hundreds of years of conflict, violence, misinterpretation, and confusion, the United States’ ongoing race issue has been solved within the comments section of a Huffington Post article titled “13 of the Creepiest Haunted Bars and Restaurants in America.” Despite having nothing to do with the article at hand, the conversation in the comments section predictably evolved into an all out race war. However, when the smoke cleared, users had obtained a level of clarity regarding the murky subject. Citing purely factual evidence that took into account multiple points of view, several commenters enlightened the rest of the board as to the past history of race relations and how it factors into the interpersonal dynamics of today. The commenters then formulated a holistic solution to treating all as equals yet maintaining and honoring specific cultural identities.
“Well, I guess that’s it for me,” said Jesse Jackson, noted Human-Rights activist. Other people at the forefront of the debate have announced their retirement as they now have nothing to do including: Rush Limbaugh, Al Sharpton, Bill O’Reilly and your uncle who lives in Virginia.