Wolf Blitzer Quietly Sets Guinness World Record; Has Been on TV for 114,668 Hours Straight

Washington D.C. – The Guinness Book of World Records announced today the CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer has set the record for being on television for the most consecutive hours in a single attempt.  Blitzer began his herculean effort during the 9/11 coverage over 13  years ago.  Since that time, he has been the consecutive and constant focal point of a CNN camera for three presidential elections, 2 invasions of Iraq, one withdraw from Iraq, the Octomom, the Beijing Olympics, Alec Baldwin’s voicemail to his daughter, the Costa Concordia tipping over off the coast of Italy, and that overly-tan mom from Jersey that everyone flipped out over.

“I typically will sleep in between commercial breaks and when Candy Crowley is doing one of her ‘investigative pieces’,” said Blitzer.

The 66 year old news anchor sustains himself with an IV drip filled with a mixture of umbilical cord blood and Gatorade, a concoction he affectionately calls the “Wolf Spritzer.”

TV personality Carson Daly is the likely next contender to break the record.

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