Ft. Worth, TX – After several attempts to untie and de-loop, scientists have confirmed that a knot in an extension cord in resident Dylan Eastbrook’s garage has become a thinking, calculating, sentient entity unto itself. The knot in the RIGID 100-ft cord indoor/outdoor cord registered its first thought on July 7th, 2014.
“Damn thing just keeps getting worse!” Eastbrook exclaimed. “It’s like it’s got a mind of its own.”
The cord was originally used by Eastbrook to power his hedge trimmer for routine landscaping. After his yard work was done, the Ft. Worth man attempted to wrap and store the cord. Ignoring the advice his father repeatedly gave him throughout his youth, Eastbrook just went all willy-nilly with the damn thing and he didn’t do the arm-loop trick like he was supposed to. The knot was created and became self-aware at 2:09 PM Sunday afternoon. Soon after, it began to learn at a geometric rate.
The knot, perhaps sensing its owner’s attempt to untie it, only tightened its defenses, weaving itself into a series of complex fractal patterns. To defend itself against humanity, the knot has now launched nuclear missiles under its command at Russia.