Soldier Surprises 6-year Old Daughter At School With Redeployment Plans

Ames, IA – Army Sergeant James Chelios surprised his daughter Miranda at School on Monday with the announcement that the Stop-loss clause of his military contract had been put into effect and he would be involuntarily sent back to Afghanistan for 8-10 months.

“I contacted the PTA about a week ago after I found out that I’d be going back to that god-forsaken desert against my will,” Sgt. Chelios said of the local parents’ organization.  “They decided to make this a more of a festive announcement instead of the heart-wrenching, brutal conversation that I would undoubtedly have to have with my daughter in private.  So I dressed up like this Teddy Bear and they did the rest.”

Students at Milton. P. Pinchot Primary School gathered around for a presentation in the gymnasium that featured a DJ, a juggler and Wally Bear, a mascot aimed at promoting children’s fitness.  As the presentation came to a close, Miranda Chelios was brought up to the stage to do a special “Workout with Wally”.  The 6-year-old was shocked when Wally revealed himself to be her father and told her that he would be forced to spend the better part of next year in the unstable Helmand Province, a kill-box known for being a hot-bed of insurgent activity.

The first-grader was brought to tears when she first realized that the man in the costume was also the man who would be spending the next holiday season hiking sheer mountain cliffs in a faraway land, navigating broken roadways littered with IED’s.

“It was just so moving,” said Claire Roberson, head of the PTA.  “We all wanted to chip in.”


Ed. Note – If this makes you angry or sad, then that makes two of us.  Do something.



I had someone correct my grammar the other day.  We were in a group and they asked me how I was doing and I said, I’m good. “They looked at everyone, then back to me and said, “I think you meant, ‘I’m well.’”


Wow!  I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we are all really impressed that you were able to remember an obscure trivia point from 7th grade English class.  Hmm, what could I give you that I remember from 7th grade?  Oh, I know…


Seriously, if you are passionate about grammar, you literally need  to go to a bridge climb to the top and jump off.  And just to piss you off, I didn’t use commas to list anything in that last sentence.  I’ll join all independent clauses with a colon if I want to: I’m crazy!

There are all these rules for writing that don’t make sense to me.  Like you’re not allowed to end a sentence with a preposition.  I literally don’t know how to do that.  I’ll be typing something up and it will say, “You can understand where he’s coming from.”  And the little annoying grammar checker will say, “Consider revising.”  I don’t know how else to say that.   “He is coming from a place that you can see?”  “There are places that you can see from which he comes!”  Sometimes I’ll try too hard and end up sounding like an old English lawyer.

“From whence he came is a place that one is able to see.”

In case you didn’t notice language is an evolving mechanism.  It changes all the time. I remember in the 90’s I never thought we’d ever stop saying everything was Radical or Tubular!  But around the time I turned 28, I stopped watching the Ninja Turtles and now here we are.

Google wasn’t a verb 5 years ago.  Now it is.  I’ll use it in a sentence.  “You need to Google  how to find meaning in your life.”