Family Pride

An SUV cruises down the main drag of a small town.  The streets are congested with other vehicles.  JOHN is transporting his ten-year old son CHRISTOPHER to an oboe lesson.  He is in a bit of a rush.

JOHN: Jeez Louise!  What is the issue up there?  C’mon, we’ve got an oboe lesson to get to!  I’ve got a virtuoso on my hands here people!  You’re all messing with scholarship money!

CHRISTOPHER: Dad, it’s ok we’ve got a few minutes.

JOHN: Yes but I’m paying good money for that Hungarian to teach you to be a great oboe player.  Look at this guy!  He just shot right in there.  Didn’t even use his signal.

CUT-TO: A pick-up truck pulls up beside them and starts to merge in front of them. The trailer gate is adorned with multiple bumper stickers.

JOHN: Hey, hey!  What the heck is this!?  Does no one use their turn signal anymore?   What kind of person does that?  Well, he has lots of bumper stickers.  Let’s see what kind of idiot we’re dealing with. He obviously likes deer hunting.  Jerk!  What else does this idiot’s bumper sticker say?  Well, he’s a big Jacksonville Jaguars fan.  Moron!

CHRISTOPHER: Dad, it’s not that big of a deal.

CUT-TO: The truck completes the merge.

JOHN:  What’s that one say on the bottom left?  “My kid can beat up your honor student?”  Well, that’s it!

JOHN honks the horn loudly and motions for the truck to pull over.  He continues honking until the truck is forced to comply.

CHRISTOPHER: What are you doing?

JOHN: We have some pride in this family.  He’s not getting away with that!

JOHN gets out of the car and approaches the truck.  Christopher is left alone in the SUV, watching his dad and a strange man yell at one another.  After a few seconds of wild gesticulating, JOHN comes back to the car and gets in.

JOHN: OK, so here’s the deal.  We’re going to be late to the oboe lesson.

CHRISTOPHER: Fine, I told you it’s not a big deal.

JOHN: And you’re going to fight that man’s son.


JOHN:  Yeah, yeah.  He’s in the truck too.  He looks a little older than you but I think you can take him.  Ah…there he is.

The truck driver’s son NATE get out of the passenger side door.  Nate is probably 5 years older than CHRISTOPHER and much bigger.  He looks as unenthusiastic about this fight as CHRISTOPHER.


JOHN: Yes way!  I already made a deal.  We can’t back out now.

CHRISTOPHER: I’m not fighting him.  He looks like he can buy beer.

JOHN: Yes.  Yes…he sure does.  Boy, he looked a little shorter when he was buckled in.  It doesn’t matter though!  Chris, I was never able to man up and fight anyone when I was a kid and as a result I grew up really scared of confrontation.  I just want this to be a learning experience for you.  You like learning don’t you?

CHRISTOPHER: I like learning about History and science and math, not fighting!

JOHN: Chris, what do you think those history books are full of?  Wars and battles.  These things changed the course of history.  And science?  Chemistry?  Our bodies are constantly going through violent changes on a subatomic level.  Matter colliding with matter.  And Math…you’re fighting…the urge to… destroy…the sub-denominator.  All of life is a struggle.  So go out there and fight that guy.  I mean, that kid.

CHRISTOPHER: That doesn’t make any sense.

JOHN: Important lesson number 2.  Life doesn’t make sense.  Now get out there and have at it.

CHRISTOPHER reluctantly gets out of the car, still wanting to please his dad.  JOHN stays behind to watch.  CHRISTOPHER slowly approaches NATE.  After a pause, NATE apathetically punches CHRISTOPHER in the face, picks him up over his head and slams him on the hood of the car.  JOHN winces.  CHRISTOPHER rolls off the car onto the ground, out of sight.  NATE returns to his truck.  The SUV door opens and a dirty, bloody and bruised CHRISTOPHER enters.  He pulls on his seat belt and stares forward.

JOHN:Well…the Jaguars still suck!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s