Sources report that, despite not being able to write, a Blue Bic Cristal Stick Ball Point Pen was given a new lease on life Thursday. In a statement to reporters, local housewife Dorris Mattingly claimed to have received a call from her insurance agent in the morning. During her frantic attempt to write down specific instructions regarding a claim she had just filed, she pulled the Pen from the back of the top drawer by the phone in the kitchen. The Pen, despite all assumptions to the contrary, would not write.
“I tried everything,” Mattingly reports. “I shook the pen back and forth a few times. I licked the tip of the pen. I even scribbled on a blank piece of paper. But there was still no ink.”
Instead of throwing away the dried-up pen and thus ending the never-ending cycle of disappointment, Mattingly instead tossed it back into the drawer to again mix in with working and non-working pens alike.
“I even yelled at it a few times under my breath,” said Mattingly. “I called it a ‘damn thing’ and ‘stupid thing.’ I thought it may be a motivation problem as opposed to a mechanical one.”
Mattingly acquired the Bic Pen from PNC Bank in 2004 when she mistakenly placed it into her purse after a trip to deposit some checks.
“It was frustrating. That pen has dropped the ball on a number of occasions. However, I’m confident that given the opportunity during the next important phone call, the pen will perform as expected and will definitely not do the exact same thing again.”