Department of Weights and Measures Finds Stadium Noisemeter Woefully Inaccurate

(Durham, NC)  A study released by the North Carolina Department of Weights and Measures has indicated that the scoreboard Noise-o-Meter of the Durham Bulls is in desperate need of re-calibration.

“We found that even when a Bulls player struck out or made an error, their meter was still showing red, i.e. the loudest, most enthusiastic the crowd could get,” said Dr. Fred Barker, co-author of the report.  “When all observations recorded that fans were not really that into it.”

Conducted over the 2013 summer season, the study found that more often than not, the Noise-o-Meter’s dial was often in stark contrast to other decibel measuring devices.

“This is an extremely serious allegation,” Bulls’ GM Tap Bradley said in a released statement.  “The Bulls will be conducting our own internal investigation into this matter.  We respectfully reject the Department’s claim that the Noise-o-Meter is a completely arbitrary tool and was in fact a graphic design project made by our intern Kyle on an Apple Laptop that we play over and over again to rile up idiots and the drunk.”

Kyle could not be reached for comment.


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