Ratings War Continues; Cast of “Smash” to Up the Ante

New York, NY – In an attempt combat the media’s obsession with Corey Monteith’s death, the cast of NBC’s recently canceled show Smash have announced that they will televise their own live mass suicides Wednesday night.  The decision comes on the heels of the Glee star’s tragic and extremely marketable drug overdose.  

“After Corey’s passing, we just felt that we left something on the table creatively,” said Smash creator Theresa Rebeck.  “We needed a fresh start and something provocative.  We feel that our audience really wants us to dose stars like Angelica Huston and Katherine McPhee with large quantities of phenobarbital-laced Snapple.”

News outlets have been ravenous in covering Monteith’s death and ratings for Glee reruns have jumped considerably.  “Yes it’s tragic.  We all loved him.  Blah, blah, blah.” said Paul Blistone, Fox’s Director of Marketing.  “But you need to see a silver lining in every storm.  His death has created renewed interest in the show.  People want to tune in next season to see how the cast will react.  Will Lea Michelle develop any type of pervasive psychological disorders as a result?  Can Jane Lynch make it through “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” without breaking down completely.  How will Corey’s death affect Kevin McHale’s pitch?  You can’t buy that type of buzz!”

Smash’s similar format led the two shows to a dogged battle in the ratings.  Ultimately Glee came on out on top.  But the battle isn’t over yet.

“I strongly believe that once viewers see the poison slow Debra Messing’s central nervous system to the point of brain death,” said Rebeck, “we’ll be back in the ratings game for sure!  It’s so compelling!   It’s so dramatic.  It’s so Smash!”