Job Description: Mall Kiosk Sales Associate

EARN EXTRA HOLIDAY MONEY AND BE A PART OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON!

Mall Location: Robinson Township Mall

Salary: $11.00

Intro:

As a Mall Kiosk worker, you have the ability to follow a multitude of paths to your ideal career.  We have several exciting categories of business including but not limited to:

–          High End Dog Biscuits
–          Mildly Offensive Apparel
–          Chemically Harmful Hair Treatments
–          Watch Straps (Assorted)
–          Acne Solutions
–          Retro-fitted Bathtubs
–          Calendars (Baby-Dressed-As-Animal, Animal-Dressed-Like-Adult-Professional, Australian Stud-Muffin, etc)
–          And more!

Essential Functions:

–          Looking disinterested and distracted for long periods of time.
–          Texting and other smartphone-related competencies (8-hours per day)
–          Half-assing sales pitches.
–          Lollygagging in the Food Court.
–          Paying little to no attention about the product you are there to sell.
–          Annoying women by asking them to do a makeover, doing half of it, then requesting that they buy the product in order to complete the makeover.
–          Eye-rolling.
–          Gawking at groups of college students.
–          Talking to that one Assistant Manager at GameStop.

Experience:

–          Absolutely no experience (preferred)

Closing:

Listen, times are hard.  Obama, right?  We know you have no vested, long-term interest in the financial success of any of these companies.  Seriously, that’s fine.  No big deal. We just kind of need someone to be there to ring up customers and make sure that teenagers don’t steal anything.  Follow your dreams today!