Tallahassee, FL – After a lengthy legal battle spanning many years, the letter Z has been awarded custody of the word “xylophone.”
A person with knowledge of the decision said a judge ruled Friday that the thousand-year old letter will have primary custody of xylophone, xylophones, and xylophoning. The person was not authorized to release the information and spoke on condition of anonymity.
The letter X has since taken to its Twitter page to comment on the decision. “This is straight up wrong. Government taking away something that I raised from birth? #WTF #injustice #Bieber4Life.”
It went on to post a series of telling tweets about its feelings of loyalty and betrayal, adding, “You sit right next to someone on the alphabet all your life… #XWhyZ?”
“Z” or zeta as it’s known in its homeland of Greece, was relieved be the decision. “I’m just so glad to put and end to this chapter of my life,” Z said in a telephone conference. “I finally have the piece of mind that zylophone will finally grow up in a safe, well-adjusted environment where it can be who it truly is.”
The Letter X will continue to have visitation rights.