Nitwit Assaulted by Prominent Bel Air Judge

Bel Air, CA – Monday afternoon, police were called to the home of the Honorable Phillip Banks, Judge for Hartford County’s District court.  Reports allege that Banks assaulted a local nitwit known only as “Jazz.” 

File Photo

It is unknown what Jazz, a Compton resident, was doing at the Banks Bel Air Estate.  Some accounts say that Jazz had been stalking HillaryBanks, daughter of Phillip.  Others say that Jazz was in the middle of a social experiment, where he and Carlton Banks, son of Phillip, switched residences for the weekend. 

“It is unclear exactly what connection that Jazz has with the Banks Family,” said Anthony Porto, chief investigator.  “What is clear is that Mr. Banks physically assaulted Mr. Jazz, throwing him several feet onto the sidewalk, as evidenced by camera footage.”

A representative for Phillip Banks had no comment.