Drake Sets World Record; Writes and Records Hit Song in 43 Seconds

Los Angeles, CA –  Today Young Money Entertainment, LLC released a press statement touting the latest accomplishment of one of its biggest stars, rapper Drake.  “We are pleased to announce that Drake has shattered the world record for fastest song ever composed.”  The release goes on to say that in a span of 43 seconds Drake wrote lyrics, composed the music and produced the track “Ballin’ On Me.”  The song has already reached number 4 on the Billboard Hot 100, despite being released only 7 minutes ago.

“I didn’t intend to set any world records, “ says Drake via a Skype interview.  “It’s my process at work.  I just write down some vague boastful nonsense, load a pre-recorded drum track into Garage Band and rap over it.  Then I cut and paste until I have a track that’s 3 minutes long.  Boom!  Hit song!”

Judging from the lyrics, the track “Ballin’ On Me” fits snuggly into Drake’s existing catalog of songs in that it is devoid of almost any forethought or planning.

Ballin’ on me. / Ballin’ on me. / Every day every night you be followin’ me. – Lyrics to “Ballin’ On Me”

The prior world record had been set by Country Music star Trace Adkins’ song “Swing,” in which the lumbering Louisiana native repeats the phrase “Swing Batter Batter” over a blues riff for 3 minutes and 36 seconds.  “Hell, it only took me 7 minutes to write and record that song,” Adkins said. 

“That boy Drake must not give one hoot about the quality of muck he puts out.”

“It’s not that I don’t care about the quality of my music,” said the rapper.  “It’s just that nobody else seems to.”