Banana Republic President: “Yes, we are completely serious about the price of our jeans.”

Columbus, OH – Jack Calhoun, President of Banana Republic, held a press conference today affirming that the company is indeed serious about the price of their jeans. “As an organization, we are 100% committed to our absolutely ungodly prices on all jeans.” Calhoun went on to say that the price point was arbitrarily set, with no reasoning or logic. “They aren’t special jeans. They aren’t made with top-quality materials. They aren’t special in terms of cut or style. They don’t really do anything. They’re just jeans. Standard denim jeans.”

Calhoun: "I don't know what you want from me."

The press conference was called due to mounting pressures from customers to explain the price of the jeans. “Much of our customer base, mostly males, who enter Banana Republic, find a pair of jeans that they like only to look at the price tag and walk out,” said Calhoun. “They’re always muttering the same thing: ‘Are you friggin’ serious?’ I’m here to reassure the customers that we are serious. We aren’t friggin’ joking. We aren’t friggin’ kidding you. And we are not friggin’ pulling your chain.”

Internal documents at the company show that there was much dissension among the ranks when it came to jean pricing. Many felt that by charging such an exorbitant price would drive away customers.

“Believe me,” Calhoun clarified. “I agree that the price is ridiculous. Quite frankly, it’s completely insane. To think that someone would pay that much for a pair of pants, some of which we’ve partially destroyed. It’s ludicrous! But people keep buying them from us. So what am I supposed to do?”