Resolutions at 11:15 PM

My feet hit the soft carpet as I enter the door.
20 minutes of new jokes left the crowd on the floor.
The punchlines were poignant; the set-ups were sleek,
I can’t believe I did six comedy shows this week.

I log into Facebook for the first time today.
There’s no notifications and it’s perfectly ok.
I write some quick prose and post it online
Konkdaddy.com’s traffic today: 21,049.

I do all my ups.  (I sit, push and pull).
Can’t believe it’s been months without alcohol.
Then I do something nice for my fiancé
To show her how much she really means to me.

I’ve fixed the toilet and I’ve learned how to box.
Goodwill has received my unused shirts, pants and socks.
I’ve shampoo’d the carpet.  I’ve learned how to draw.
I’ve mastered Calculus, Geometry and Algebra.

I’ve called my grandparents, just to say hello.
Then pick up where I left off reading Othello.
It’s 11:15 at night.  I’ll go to bed, I guess
Then have a heart attack caused by crippling stress.