TSA/Hotel Conspiracy Revealed

 

(Detroit, MI) – 3.4 oz or less.  That was the amount of liquid allowed in containers by Transportation Security Administration since 2006.  Until recently, it was thought that the TSA was acting with the safety of airline passengers in mind.  The agency originally cited a 2006 incident where a network of terrorists planned to use liquid explosives to bomb trans-Atlantic flights.  However, new information from watchdog group Bender-Plank suggests that the TSA’s motives were not so altruistic.

“Our investigation found that the TSA has significant financial ties to the hotel industry,” says Bert Katchum, lead analyst for Bender-Plank.  “It’s not about safety with them.  It’s all about shampoo.”

Katchum asserts that the nation’s largest hotel chains; Hilton, Marriot, Hyatt, Starwood and Best Western; came together to influence policy-makers so that they would save money on shampoo, conditioner and body lotion.

“Before 2006 people used to take home those little shampoo bottles in hotel showers,” says Katchum, whose background includes a Forensic Auditing degree from Arizona State.  “If you went into you’re grandma’s upstairs closet you no doubt found hundreds of them.  Well the hotel chains saw those bottles as lost revenue.”

The Bender-Plank researchers uncovered a confidential industry white paper commissioned by the Marriot Corporation that specifically outlined a plan to lobby Congressional leaders to ban liquid containers from air travel.

My girlfriend has just informed me that this article is completely factually inaccurate and therefore unfunny.  Apparently the shampoo that one used to get at hotels was always under 3.4 oz. 

 

Let’s be honest…she did you a favor.  This wasn’t really going anywhere.