Front Line

The Butter Battle rages on...

August 1, 2011

Yook terrorists killed at least 19, 12 of them children, in an attack yesterday on Zookian government buildings in southern Zook, the latest blow to a fragile region near the Yook-Zook Border Wall that has been destabilized by a string of assassinations.  The attack in Palla-Zoo-Hoo province also wounded 35 civilians, provincial officials said, and was the deadliest in the south in nearly six months.

It began when two Yooks, wearing their typical Blue clothing, fired a “Triple-Sling Jigger” into the front of the provincial Governor’s compound and near the offices for the regional state television channel, Zooky Rooky TV. Up to six Yook terrorists then stormed the Governor’s compound armed with “Kick-a-Poo Kids.”  They proceeded to fire the weapon into the crowd of unsuspecting Zooks, spraying powerful Poo-A-Doo powder and ants’ eggs and bees’ legs and dried-fried clam chowder.

Three bombers detonated seperate “Bitsy Big-Boy Boomeroo” while the remaining attackers were locked in a blue-goo fight with police inside the compounds.

Most of the dead were civilians, among them 12 children between the ages of five and 13 who were waiting with their families in a Butter-side-down bread line at a government welfare office.  A reporter who worked for a Zook news agency was also killed.

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