Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader

March 8, 2011

Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader is an unfair premise.

People always make fun of the contestants when they lose.  “Oh my god!  That idiot didn’t know which inert gas makes up the majority of the air we breath.  What an idiot!”

“Did you know that?”


See the problem is that a 5th grader spends 8 hours a day at school learning that stuff so they have home field advantage against the adult.  We adults all have a real jobs in corporate America that we spend 8 hours a day at. Come play in our stadium you little jerks!

Ok, that 5th grader might know the primary numbers.  But does he know how to get a Xerox MP-16 color printer working after a paper jam?  I didn’t think so.

Does he know how to calculate inventory turnover and compare it to last year’s results then put it in a spreadsheet that your boss finds aesthetically pleasing?  No?

Does he know that life is a futile attempt to ascribe meaning to a world filled with chaos and any pursuit that he follows will ultimately end in him being dead and forgotten?  Didn’t figure that one out yet huh Timmy?


This is what happens when you read Charles Baudelaire poetry before bedtime.

Also, the next day you can’t even do one push up.

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