NFL Fines Rams

November 28, 2010

New York, NY – The NFL has levied a fine against the Rams for their repeated use of dangerous head to head hits.

“We have developed a consistent policy and there is no room for that type of brutality,” said commissioner Roger Goodell.

Prior to the mating season, Rams attempt to establish a dominance hierarchy that determines access to ewes for mating. It is during that period that most of the characteristic horn clashing occurs. Ram’s horns can frequently exhibit damage from repeated clashes.

Many people are critical of Goodell’s decision, saying that he is over-stepping his authority.  “It’s not really his call to be telling certain species of animals not to engage in a behavior that they have been doing for hundreds of thousands of years,” explained biologist Leslie Atredies.  “It takes a potent type of vanity to think you have that power.”

Goodell has also extended a warning to the Lions, who frequently attack defenseless prey, and to the Bears for “roughing the salmon.”

Asked to comment on the hefty penalty, a Ram said, “Baaaa!”

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