(AP) Sluis Sector, Dagobah – A team of speech pathologists recently diagnosed prominent Jedi Council Member, Yoda, with full-blown dyslexia. For centuries, Yoda has struggled to read, write, and speak with words in their proper syntax. Mace Windu, another member of the Jedi council, explained that the news was not such a big shock.
“I mean the mother-F*#ker could never speak right. He was one of those people that you always had to say ‘What?’ after they said something. But even when he repeated it you still couldn’t understand what the hell he was saying. So by that point, you didn’t really want to say ‘I can’t understand you!’ again, so you just kind of nodded and smiled.”
Dyslexia is a condition which causes difficulty with reading and writing. It is a learning disability that is likely present from birth. Its standard definition is a difficulty in reading and writing in spite of normal development of intelligence, cognitive and sensory abilities.
Yoda posted a written statement late last night on his Blog, entitled Project Runway Fans Forum:
“Find it hard, do I, to believe that all this time…dyslexia I have. However, the findings, some sense…do make. Making the best of this situation…my life partner and I are.” Yoda exclaimed, citing the wonderful support from his long-time boyfriend and popular Inter-galactic Jazz musician, Max Rebo.
“Yoda has a lot of supporters,” said Luke Skywalker, Yoda’s one time protégé. “It’s nice to see the problem finally brought to the public’s attention.”