lysol

Copywriters Meeting @Lysol

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We join the copywriting team at Lysol as they discuss the latest package design.  Chad is the Manager.  Tina is a Sr. Copywriter.  Paulo is a Copywriter.

Chad: Ok team, let’s move to the back of the label.  I think Paulo did a nice job with the layout and content.

Paulo: Thank you.

Chad: I’ve reviewed it a few times and unless we have anyone that has any callouts I think we can go ahead and get this into production.

Tina: Um, are we not going to discuss the order of the bacterial strains that Paulo put on the back label?

Chad: I thought it was fine.  What specifically did you have a problem with?

Tina: It’s more like what DON’T I have a problem with.  For starters, he has H1N1 as the lead off virus.  Didn’t that happen in like 2011 or something?  It’s not exactly top-of-mind right now.

Paulo: That’s really nitpicking.

Tina: He asked me what I think and that’s what I think.  Salmonella.  Listeria.  Staphylococcus. That’s the brand Paulo.  Lysol is about salmonella and listeria and staph infections.  Lysol is not, nor has it ever been about “Escherichia coli with extended spectrum beta lactamase resistance.”  What the HELL is that even?  Are you getting paid by the consonant?

Chad: Ok, let’s all settle down.  Tina, you’re out of line.  Your message is appreciated but your delivery is not.

Paulo: Who made you the brand manager anyway?  Lysol has always been about salmonella, you say?  Well look where that’s got us.  Last year, we lost 8% market share to those pricks over at  Purell!  They’re not stuck on listeria.  They’ve moved on Tina.  They’ve moved on to Escherichia and Enterobacter Aerogenes. And even [GASP] HERPES!  Yeah, is that too much for you Tina?  Or does my youth threaten you?

Tina: Please, you’ll come and go.  But in 20 years you can bet Lysol will still be disinfecting influenza and salmonella.  They’re called the classics for a reason.

Chad: Ok, let’s all take a 5 minute break.  I think we might need to schedule another meeting for more discussion on this.

 

 

Ginza Tanaka unveiled the world’s most expensive $4.2 million pure gold revolving Christmas tree made of Disney characters.

Total Jokes 11/22

Ginza Tanaka's Gold Christmas Tree with Disney Motif

  • A Tokyo retailer has unveiled a two million dollar Christmas Tree made of solid gold.  If that doesn’t get you in the Christmas spirit, you can take comfort in knowing that the gold was pulled right from the dental fillings of frostbitten Japanese homeless people.
  • President-Elect Donald Trump has decided to settle his Trump University lawsuit in which he allegedly defrauded students.  Trump is working on a new book about the episode called The Art of the Steal. 
  • Apple has hinted that its latest invention will be a type of foldable phone.  The phone has a built in time machine that will transport users back to a time where it was acceptable to own flip-phone.
  • Apple will also be coming out with a new wearable device that will notify owners when someone is trying to call them in real time.  The new device will be called The iPager.
  • Starbucks has raised the price of their average drink by thirty cents.  That means the average price of a small drink at Starbucks is $62.30.